But Can You Make Them Breakfast?

A couple weeks ago Michaela and Cody had to leave to go back to the states for medical purposes.  This left Elise, Naomi (two women around my age who also live with the Fulks) and myself in charge of 6 kids.  We were more than happy to help in this way so Michaela and Cody could take care of themselves, but weren't sure how the next few weeks were going to go.  

I was praying one morning a couple days after they left and just told God how overwhelmed I was feeling.  The thought of the weeks ahead taking care of 6 kids in a foreign country was too much to handle in that moment.  I'm not sure why I was particularly anxious that day.   I knew the way the house ran, the kids had been doing really well since mom and dad had left, and everything was running smoothly.  But whatever the reason, I was overwhelmed.  

I told God that I didn't think I could do this and honestly His response surprised me.  I felt God saying, "It's okay if  you don't think you can take care of the kids the next couple weeks, but can you make them breakfast?  You see, I love these kids and they don't have their parents to care for them right now.  They're going to get hungry, so will you make them breakfast for Me?"

Yeah, I can make them breakfast.

Although this time has challenged me, it has been beautiful what God has taught me.

1. We don't need to get through it all, we need to get through the next moment.  God is not asking us to have it all figured out.  He's not asking us to take on tomorrow's burdens today.  Today has enough work, trouble, stress, anxiety, etc of it's own.  We don't need to worry about tomorrow, we simply need to take this moment God has given us and use it to love God and love the people around us and have faith that God will take care of us through the moments to come.  (Matthew 6:34, Hebrews 11:1)

2. We are dependent on God every moment, for He is the one that gives us the air we breathe.  Without His love and sustaining power, we wouldn't even be alive. If God has the power to keep us alive and breathing, He has the power to get us through any trial or challenge we may face.  His power is key though.  In our own strength we will fail, but through Him we are more than conquerers (John 16:33, Romans 8:37).

3. Joy of the Lord is our strength, and in His presence is where we find our joy. God is so good to us all the time. He is constantly providing for all our needs and meeting us where we're at.  When caught in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and complaining, ask God to show you where his provisions are. Ask Him to open your eyes to His goodness.  It's there and Jesus is more than happy to show you the blessings He is pouring out on you (Nehemiah 8:10, Psalm 16:11).

Following Where He Leads

You never know where you'll end up when you're following the Holy Spirit. As we continue to go out and share Christ's love with women on the street we are continually reminded of our dependence on God and His guidance.

The last several times we've gone out to share Jesus with women on the streets, we have felt that there were one or two specific women we were supposed to talk to.  One night, God gave two of us on the team a picture of specifically where we were to go. He also gave another team member a picture of a blue dress. Naturally, we assumed that we were to go to that place and talk to a woman in a blue dress. Well we were wrong...kind of.

We got to the location, walked in confidently, and found a small room of slot machines The only people in this place were men. A little confused, we walked out. As we exited the place, we saw a woman standing on the corner of an alley. She was wearing a blue dress. Aha! She's the one we should talk to. As we approached her and struck up a conversation, we could tell she was not having it. We were interrupting her night and making her lose potential business. However her friend was willing to talk. Then after a few minutes she wanted us to go with her into a bar. So we followed her there. After a series of conversations and being led from one group of women to another we found ourselves on the “patio” of this bar, speaking with two women. We naturally divided the conversation and got into more personal one on one conversations.  I was able to share with one woman how God had changed my life.  She had struggled with similar doubts, fears, and lies.  My friend was able to pray in a meaningful way with the other woman.  

We don't know the fruit of those conversations and times of prayer. We don't necessarily know how God used that time to affect those women. That's not our place. Jesus never promises us that we will see fruit from what He asks us to do, but he does promise that His Word will not return void. We are simply to follow where He leads, which often times does not look like what we thought it would.   

Rescue, Redemption, and God's Enduring Love

This is one woman's story of faith.

Ana (name changed to protect her) was much like the other women we meet on the street. Scantily clad, drunk, looking to sell herself to men in the late night hours on the streets of Kampala. Unaware of how much the King of kings loves her.

After speaking with her and praying with her, we encouraged her to walk away from this lifestyle, to go home. She took this advice and immediately went home. That night Ana had a dream. She was in complete darkness and Jesus was there and spoke to her saying, “Come.” She walk towards Him and still He said, “Come.” Once more, he told her to come. When she woke up the next morning she called us and asked to meet with us.

As we met with Ana, she told us what had happened the night before. She had a desire to follow Jesus. She wanted to know more. Having experience with the church and believing she knew God, she recommitted her life to Christ and left the life of selling herself on the streets. We rejoiced with her as she made this decision.

Our team, meeting with Ana the day after meeting her.  

Several weeks later, after a couple more meetings with her, we were encouraged by what she was understanding of God's word. We were encouraged by her desire to know Jesus more. She was close to getting a job that would provide for her in a God glorifying way.

A few hours after a meeting with her and leaving so encouraged, we went back out to the streets to share Jesus with women who still needed to be rescued. That night was particularly tough for many reasons. As I was talking to a woman, I saw Ana out of the corner of my eye and then another team member confirmed that it was Ana. My heart broke.

I'll be honest, my immediate thoughts were selfish, condemning, and unloving.

          What happened?

          We just talked about Jesus.

          What are you doing here?

          You're drunk.

          You wasted my time.

Thankfully, God opened my eyes and softened my heart. He showed me once again His heart for Ana. He convicted me of expecting her to never struggle with her sins again. How many times after I came to know Jesus as my Savior, God as my Father, have I returned to my sin? How many times have I chosen something so worthless and even harmful over the love of my Savior? Yet His love is relentless. His love is enduring. God does not grow weary or faint, His love does not end, He does not forgive just once, but his forgiveness is continuous and His grace is sufficient.

It is sometimes hard for me to relate to women like Ana. We do not have similar experiences or struggles, nor do we deal with the same sin, however, we both have been rescued and redeemed. We've both returned to our sin after deciding to follow Christ and Jesus is loving both of us with His enduring and relentless love. Just as He is sanctifying me, changing me to reflect Himself, He is doing the same with Ana. If He has called me to love others in the same way He loves, it will require an enduring love because that's the love He has poured out on me.  

An Unexpected Language Barrier

Coming to Uganda, I knew there would be language barriers. Even when speaking English to Ugandans, we have to adjust the way we speak. I came knowing people here speak Lugandan, K'Swahili, Ngakaramojong, and many other dialects.

One night, as we went out to minister to women, I experienced a language barrier that I was not expecting. It brought my mind back to Colorado, as this was a barrier I have been very familiar with the past 4 years working in a school with a high percentage of Hispanic families. A woman, we will call “S”, asked me if I spoke French. I shook my head and told her no. Then she asked if I spoke Spanish. I responded “Sí” and our conversation in broken Spanish began. It went something like this...

Me: Jesus Cristo te ama.

S: Sí, comprendo

Me: Jesus Cristo quiere más para tú.

S: Sí

S: Quieras? (offers me a drink from the pouch of vodka she's drinking)

Me: No quiero drink.

S: Quieras bailar? (pointing to the bar nearby)

Me: No quiero bailar, quiero hablar de Dios. Él te ama.

S: Sí, sí

Me: Aqui es mi numero de telefono. Hablamos más de Jesus Cristo. 

S: Sí, sí

It took me a while to remember the words, to switch my brain back into being able to have a small conversation in Spanish. God brought to mind 1 Peter 3:15, which says, “always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you.” For the first time, I felt a need to be prepared in a way I had not previously felt. The need to be prepared to explain the hope of Jesus in languages I may know some, but not enough to be confident speaking. Trusting Him, that if He led me into a situation to share His love that He would provide a way for understanding as well, but it's my responsibility to step out in faith and speak - whichever language that may be. 

Bound by Lies

"[The devil] was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." ~John 8:44

The busy streets filled with night life, a dimly lit street corner, right outside a prominent resort. These are some of the darkest places in Kampala. This is where we find women who are bound by lies so tightly they cannot see the deception clearly. In their world, they have no hope. The only option they see is to prostitute themselves. Some are coerced into it and forced to stay, but many took a friend or family members advice to try this “job” and now they are bound by the lie that this is only work available for them to do.  My heart breaks for them. The Father's heart breaks for them.

To the people passing her by on the streets, she may just be another prostitute. Someone to judge, scoff at, scorn, and condemn. To the men who hire her, she is just a piece of meat to be used and thrown away when he's finished. To those of us working to bring her hope, she is a broken woman who needs the redeeming love of Jesus, just like us. But to the Father she is so much more...

He doesn't see a prostitute on the street when He looks at her. No, He sees His creation. He knows the number of hairs on her head. He knows the shame she feels that she is too proud to show anyone else. He knows every anxious thought she has as she works to provide for her family.   He knows every tear she has cried.   He knows every wound on her heart, even the ones she is unaware of.  He knows her desires and His desire is for her. He thought about her as He died on the cross.  He wants her to turn from sin and run into His loving arms.  He wants to untie the lies that have her bound and give her freedom through His Son!

 Something I drew as I reflected on the reality we see. The lies bind us, but through Jesus can be untied and broken.

Is Jesus Enough?

Is Jesus enough? This is a question I believe most Christians would automatically answer yes to without much thought. I also believe it's a question we know the answer to in our brains, but do not actually believe with our hearts. I'm including myself in that category and have been humbled by what God has shown me.

As a teacher, I thought I would use education as an avenue to serve God and teach others about Him. Doctors and nurses travel to third world countries for medical missions. Organizations around the world dig wells to provide clean water in the name of Jesus. There are countless programs providing food to the hungry. These are not bad. Jesus commands us, as His followers, to care for orphans and widows, to feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, to care for the poor and sick, to visit those in prison (Matthew 25:31-46, James 1:27) However, we must not neglect Jesus while serving Him.

When I came to Uganda the first time I came to help with a makeshift school in the slums. We would teach the kids about Jesus, give them basic literacy lessons, and just love on kids living in the slums of Kampala. This is not a bad thing, however in the last year God has revealed to me an ugly truth about myself. I needed education as a backup because I didn't truly believe Jesus was enough. Ouch.

I was unaware, but education can often times be an idol in Uganda. Instead of giving them Jesus and a little education, I was feeding their idol with a little bit of Jesus on the side. This happens a lot in our world. Instead of introducing people to the Healer and then caring for them physically, we treat their medical needs and then say a little prayer. We give them clean water and say it's in Jesus' name without ever showing them who Jesus is and how they can know Him. We feed, give water, and clothe the poor without ever introducing them to the God who loves them more than we ever could and wants to provide for their every need. We help them physically, all the while ignoring their spiritual need for a Savior. As this happens, our mission work for Christ is no longer fulfilling His command to go and make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20), instead it's simple humanitarian aid and we've taken the place of God.

So let me ask again, is Jesus enough?

If all we had to give someone was Jesus, would it be enough? If we couldn't provide any education, medical care, food, water, clothes, or protection... would giving them Jesus be enough? I still believe the answer is yes. Jesus is enough. In fact, Jesus is the greatest thing we can give to people around us (Acts 3:6) However, with this new truth, I must now change my thoughts and expectations about world missions, about Africa, and about my role in it all.

God must become greater in my life and I must take my rightful place at the foot of the cross. I am not God. I cannot save anyone. I cannot change hearts. I can only know Jesus and then share the love He pours out on me with others. He has to do the rest for He is the only one that can. Jesus has to get ahold of their hearts, make them new, and bring those people close to His heart. All I can do is be obedient and share His love. With faith in a big God, comes great freedom, joy, peace, and hope! We can expect to see God work in big ways, perform miracles, and change hearts. We can expect to see lives changed by the love and power of God. Not because of anything we are doing, but because we are simply sharing what God has already done for us.

Faithfulness: God's Gifts, Our Response

Do you ever wish you could have picked out what you were gifted in?

I have friends who are amazing writers with some of the most creative minds. I wish writing came easy to me. I have friends who are great at leading worship and gifted in helping people enter into the presence of God. I have a hard time just focusing on God, let alone helping others do the same. There are people who have such a deep understanding of the Bible and can share what they learn of God in ways I could only dream of doing.

It breaks my heart that in our culture we compare and condemn ourselves for things we may not be exceptional at, instead of rejoicing with those who have been gifted in those areas. Why do we do this? Why can't we just accept the gifts God has given us? Could it be because we don't understand who God is and don't really believe that our gifts are from Him?

We must first understand Who is the Giver of these gifts, before we are able to properly respond.

I'll be the first one to admit that I have been caught up in the sin of comparing myself to others, wishing I was different than who God made me to be. This isn't a small thing. It's pride. It is believing that our plan for us is better than God's!

Seriously! Praise the Lord that He changed my perspective. When I first believed in Jesus, He was not much bigger than I was, in my mind. A few weeks ago, I was thinking about the greatness of God and the things He has already taught me. I was thinking about Isaiah 40 that says God measures the heavens with the breadth of His hand. In college my friend and I would look up at the sky and try to imagine how big God's hand must be to be able to hold the entire universe! My hand would always be stretched as far as possible to try to help, so in my mind God was straining His hand to hold the universe. As I was remembering this, I saw an image of a hand that was relaxed and soft, yet at the same time had incredible strength. In that hand were stars and galaxies. It led me to write the poem below.

Once again, God enlarged my view of Him. He continues to make Himself big and myself small! The Lord, who created the galaxies, who engraved our names on His hand, has hand picked and gifted us in ways that would most glorify Him! Instead of complaining about what gifts we might not have, we should be praising Him and rejoicing in the gifts He has given us!

We must also know who we are in Christ, before we can respond.

We are His child. We are loved. However, we are NOT God. He is the potter and we are the clay, which means He gifts us in ways He desires, not ways we desire. I will admit, I have not always loved this fact. I used to think God only gave me callings or giftings that were not what I wanted just to test me and to see if I loved Him enough to obey. This is NOT the Father's heart. He loves us and as we seek a relationship with Him, His plans for us become our desires and He blesses us with them. I will say it again, though. We are NOT God. We do not choose our blessings, gifts, and callings - God does!

So what do we do about this? We all have special giftings from God the Father, which He has given us for His glory. Where we are physically located on the earth isn't a coincidence. Who we know and interact with, either on a daily basis or a one time passing, isn't a coincidence. We are to serve God right where we are at! I'll be honest, this is a simple truth, but it is not always easy. I don't know about you, but I usually make things way harder and more complicated than they need to be. We don't need to do anything big or extravagant for God. In fact, we can't. He isn't looking to us to save the world. He has already done that. Victory is already His. He is simply asking us to be faithful to loving the people around us.

If you are having a hard time knowing where to serve God where you are, here are a few suggestions.
*Seek God. The more seek Jesus, the more He will reveal His heart to you, the more He will change you into His likeness, and the more you will be able to show His love to others.

*Pray for God to open doors for you to serve people, share the love of Christ, edify the church, and ultimately glorify our God. He will answer those prayers! After you pray, start looking! Look for opportunities to serve and love those around you. You'll be surprised at how the smallest act can reveal God's love to people.

*Ask people around you, especially your family, what you can do to show them love. People receive love in different ways. If they feel loved in a way that's hard for you to show, practice. Words of affirmation is one area I am still working on. I'm not very good at lifting people up with my words, but by the grace of God, He is teaching me.

*Get involved. Ask at church, where is an area you can serve. Look for places in the community to volunteer. If you're talking to someone who is struggling, ask if you can pray for them. At work, go the extra mile...bring coffee to a co-worker, eat lunch with people and get to know them on a deeper level, park in a spot further away, so others can have the best spots, smile, the list goes on and on; get creative!

God created you. He loves you. He holds you in His infinite hand. He wants to bless you and use you today. Let Him.